In my heart of hearts, I always imagined 18-year-old Ashley as a young Ava Gardner (Ava was, in case you don’t know, a gorgeous and sharp-tongued film star in the 1940s). Choosing her contemporary counterpart isn’t that easy. Perhaps Scarlet Johansson (hair dyed brown) would be a good choice, although her movie roles up till now haven’t depicted her with the wit and spunk that Ashley has. Hilary Duff could be another choice for Ashley.

For the other roles, I could see Meg Ryan as Ashley’s embezzling mother and the acerbic Judy Davis would make a great Gloria. As for Tattie, she should be played by someone like Lindsey Lohan. Hugh Dancy would make a perfect Patrick, the young and charming Irishman, or Adam Grenier. Mad Malcolm’s part could be played by John Travolata (with padding) and Robert Duval would be good for Earl’s role

Then Queen Barbara asked me to think about casting a movie based on my own life. Who would play Melodie Bowsher? Ouch, that’s a tough one. Do I choose an actress I wish I looked like or someone who resembles me a bit? You know what I mean…I fear I look like Meryl Streep but I wish I looked like Michelle Pfeiffer. So I asked other people. My sister said Glenn Close. My friend Arlene said a young Doris Day. I finally chose Sandra Bullock. Now I have to admit, I don’t look a thing like Sandra, but her movies are always entertaining and that seems good enough reason to me.